Let's strike a deal God, cause it's hurting too much inside. If, if I love everyone unconditionally, at least, if I try, would you stop taking them away from me? If I cared wholeheartedly and was there for them all the time, would you keep them for me?

If I tried harder, if I gave more, all that I had, can I just keep the few people that I love? If God, you keep them away from all the hurts and the pain and... everything and put them on me, would you please. If you could do that, please, do it.

I cried myself to sleep last night, again. I just want people to stop leaving. But yet, I'm so scared that if anyone sees the extent of my pain cause they leave, they'd leave anyhow, and I think that'd hurt the most.

I tried being brave yesterday, I tried. But it just all came crashing down nevertheless. I'm tired, I just don't want people to keep leaving. I always thought it wasn't something too much to ask for, I'm starting to realize, maybe it's the most difficult thing to ever ask for.

So sad, I am so sad. Not hurt not disappointed not bitter. Just sad, which isn't something I feel much. But now, I'm just sad.