Too tired to give a shit. Too sick to try.

"Last Flight Out"

I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've hid will show

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

I want you to know
You belong in my life
I love the hope
I see in your eyes
For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take
The last flight out

I'm afraid that
You will leave
As my secrets
Have been revealed
In my dreams
You'll always stay
Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

I cannot hold back
The truth no more
I let you wait too long
Although it's hard and scares me so
A life without you scares me more

Thanks ♥

I hope all this rubbishy tension stops. Or maybe it's just me. I don't know why I'm acting like that, I'm sorry. I know you're trying really hard. I'm sorry. I just am in this.. leave me alone mood. You know what I mean. Maybe you were too busy and just too much happened and. Yeh. I wish sometimes that I wasn't like that too. We're both damn sensitive and I think that makes everything even harder to clear. I'm trying, actually. I'm sorry if it isn't good enough. Haha, I'm actually crying while typing this. You're a really good friend. And I've had enough of losing people and I don't wanna lose you and.... but it's just me. And this self protecting mechanism thing. Cause truthfully, it hurt when you weren't there. And. That's when I realized you could actually hurt me. And I'm putting myself out on that line again, when.. I don't even know how to deal with this anymore. Thanks, for not giving up on me. I just never know how to put all this feelings and thoughts into words. So this's my attempt to with my lousy english. And I hope you understand how thankful I am, and that I don't mean to be this way and I'm sorry.

I'm glad you're happy now.
Looking back, I think that's all I ever wanted. :)

Love you, babe. I know you won't ever look back anymore. Which is good. I wish you happiness, always :)

But I never told you what I should have said. No I never told you, I just held it in.

Omg, damn a lot of homework I realized....

Econs essay, physics paper corrections, econs tutorial, math remedial work, GP article essay, chem tutorial. Wthhhhhhh............

Need to study for chem and econs test :( AND COMPRE ON MONDAY, omg.

Next week is going to be horror. Oh.... and my chem.... is officially dead. HAHAHA, but I can't let it die cause I need it for the course I want. Wth.... this sucks.

I realized there are a lot of dots and I'm talking to myself. lol.

Sos.

You say I'm not, I feel like I am. I don't wanna. I'm scared. But there's... so much I can do. I'm just too tired to do it. And I don't wna fight for sth I'm gna lose.

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go according to any rules. They're not like aches or wounds, they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material.

If I cry tomorrow, no one would understand why. Everyone thinks it's fine, and it's okay, and it's just a small thing.. but you know, really, it isn't. It's not, it's spinning out of control. And... I'm scared cause I can see where it's all going towards.

And I've run out of things I can do to try to keep us together. Family. Together. There's only so much I can do.

I can finally say, I'm happy for you.