I don't wish for your whole heart, just a portion of it.

Though my eyes may fail me,

I will follow after You.

Though Your promise seems forsaken,

I'll remember the world's held in Your hands.

You'll find me singing.

You are unfailing God,

Your love's unending,

And Your word is eternal,

Firm in the heavens it stands.

Though sorrow's my condition,

And pain holds back no blow.

Though this be my darkest hour,

Your lamp is leading me home.

You'll find me singing.

Eyes can't see but I feel Your near.

I know You're working through my tears.

I trust You lord, I trust You.

For You never walk away.

Went with HuiMei and Beehiang to study at Marine Parade library today!! Unproductive, but whatever. Studying outside is never productive anyway! So I saw it coming. (: HuiMei left earlier, so left me and Beehiang. Omgggg, so both of us = ..... EATING. HAHA. We went down to the cafe at the library and ordered one plate of spag each, plus chicken chunks, plus honey glazed wings. HAHA. Okay then we went back upstairs and like stoned at our paper for another hour and decided to go eat again. Took bus to Parkway Parade and missed the stop -.- Damn retarded. Then took a bus back again. Went to the supermarket bought food, HAHA. Went to Macs, bought some stupid meal cos someone wanted to eat more, and then ended up so damn full she wanted to puke at every food she saw. HAHA, damn loser. <3> Then we went to borders and then sat down because my bag was like !@*() heavy from all the files and everything. And then we read baking books! Omg, I swear we're so full of nothing but food -.- Saw a lot of pretty things we could bake but didn't wanna spend money buying the book so we just took photos of the pages we wanted to bake, loser much! But whatever :D HAHA. Then bussed home, someone fell asleep damn fast, omg! Her head's so damn heavy, my shoulder almost died under her heavy weight. Tsk. But I still love you so much! Cheer up okay! You have me. (:

I'm on the phone with Beehiang now and guess what she just said, HAHAHAH. "Guess what. I'm very hungry now leh". And she just had dinner. I swear, we're all about food now. And I remember how we used to hate eating together LOL. Not bad, look how far we've come huh.

I need to do my work..... ): 

Oh and you know what!!!!! I need spectacles, ): I'm going to look so weird, whatever~ HAHA. This is so sad, byebye perfect eyesight. ):

The sky isn't always blue, the sun doesn't always shine. It's alright to fall apart sometimes.

Had fever so gave school a miss.

Holidays are here! Need to do some planning of what I'm going to do with my time so I don't just waste the whole holidays away and before I know it, term 3 starts and I'm faced with horrid blocks. ): I'm having this super bad neck ache now, I want it to go away.

Going to start on my planning soon, take out loads of paper, and draw my big time table, yay! (: Half of my holidays are already gone, thanks to consultations and remedials and everything. So I guess, oh well. Holidays in JC aren't exactly meant to be holidays anyway. Least I know I'll have a little time to breathe.

Things were never okay, they just looked okay. But no one knows it, except us.

Holding you, it's a feeling I never outgrew.

I am not going to school tomorrow, hooray! I hate school, period.

So many thoughts ran through my mind today, although it probably didn't show. So many things I've been thinking about, so many hurts, so much pain, so many things I've got to face right now. But yet, I still find joy in smiling, because sometimes, even when it's forced, it's the only thing that keeps me going, the only thing that gives me strength to face a new day. And even as a smile, I remember all the things I have to be thankful for, and naturally things get better. When you're down and out, smile, even if you don't really mean it, smile. It'll make you feel better, even if you're having the worst day of your life.

There are so many things I have to tell you, but I don't know how. I want to tell you how much I miss you, how much you mean to me, how much I want us to be happy, how much I want us to stop quarreling, how much I want us to stop these nonsensical bullshit, how much I want us to forget all the past hurts, how much I want you to be alright, how much I want you to want all those things for me too. So much I have to tell you, so much I want to tell you. But I no longer know how. Perhaps, you've been far away for far too long. Perhaps I've been trying to tell you but ending up facing a heartbreak of you hearing me, but never listening anymore. Perhaps, you've just brought my hopes up and brought me all the way down time and time again with your empty promises. Perhaps, perhaps. Don't tell me you're sorry, because if that's all it takes, why are there laws and policeman. Don't tell me you're sorry, because it doesn't mend my broken heart. But still, I love you, so.

The seasons have changed, and so have we.

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing... What you feel only matters to you, what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters - The only thing that counts"

Someone said my blog's sad. I know it is, and I kind of don't know why it is either. No matter how hard I try to not sound sad, it just naturally comes out this way. A thing for words, maybe. Maybe it's just the way I write. I'm not this sad, not as sad as I was before. Looking back, I've come a really long way. And believe me, I say, I'm a much happier person now. I've learnt to let go, let go of things which I know no matter how hard I fight for, they will never be mine. Learnt to let go and stop struggling, stop hoping and getting disappointed in the end. Learnt to close my eyes at certain points in life because certain things will always only hurt. Growing up, I've been growing up, I've been learning how much easier life is, when you learn how to let go.

Frankly, I like the way I am now. I don't like being upset, trust me, I don't. I don't like thinking too much, I don't like being affected, I don't like being emotional, I don't like seeing myself with tears at the corner of my eyes. I prefer to smile, and be happy, to live in the moment. Because you know, you never know when that moment will be the last moment of your life. I want to live life out to the maximum with those I love, those I treasure, those that mean something to me. Put away all those idle chatter and gossips, and start building each other up, pulling each other through. Life's no smooth ride, what doesn't kill you makes you who you are, we all need to be there for each other.

On another side note, I really miss you. 

I miss my bestfriend.

"I believe in sleeping in. I believe in giving 100% when you only have 80. I believe in love, arguing, and jamming out by yourself in the car. I believe in kisses on the forehead. I believe in long kisses, smiling till your cheeks hurt and laughing until you cry. I believe in having someone to tell you that you're beautiful. I believe in having someone play with your hair. I believe in swinging on swings and running in the rain. I believe in miracles and random acts of kindness. I believe in saying hello to anyone and everyone. I believe in second chances. I believe in passion."

I was super grumpy today, I'm so sorry. ):

Well, enough said. I've had enough of all this shit. Nope, I'm not say crying and everything over it, but, I guess it's disappointing. But......... I'm going to do better. Okay, maybe I've said this a thousand and one times, but every time, I really do try harder. Maybe harder isn't hard enough, so I guess I'll just have to keep trying harder till I get there. I will, I can. I'm not giving up. Not yet, not now. 

You ask me to listen to you, have you ever thought when was the last time you listened to me?

You bound my broken heart and saved all my tears.

爱一个人， 要了解，也要开解； 要道歉，也要道谢； 要认错，也要改错； 要体贴，也要体谅； 是接受，而不是忍受； 是宽容，而不是纵容； 是支持，而不是支配； 是慰问，而不是质问； 是倾诉，而不是控诉； 是难忘，而不是遗忘； 是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代； 是为对方默默祈求 而不是向对方诸多要求； 可以浪漫，但不要浪费； 可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

I miss you caring, I miss it when my feelings matter.

It's the simplest things you do which hurt the most.

Damn it, I woke up at 7 -.-

And if you don't already know (which most of you don't), my sleep is very lousy one. I always end up waking up countless of times into the night. Plus, I don't exactly sleep very early, so... my sleep's very disrupted. ): Resulting in me feeling tired no matter how early I sleep, which is quite retarded. 

ALL THE BEST TO THOSE HAVING CHINESE A'S ORAL! (:

I think I'm really bad with goodbyes. I'm afraid of goodbyes. I'm afraid of people coming in, and letting them mean something just to have them say goodbye in the end. Maybe I run away from such situations, maybe that's how I protect my heart. But really, I'm scared, of having people come and go. If you've come, would you stay? Because if you're going to leave, I'd rather you not come at all. I've had enough of goodbyes, and I'm sure as I grow older, I'll have to deal with more goodbyes, but if I could control it, I'd keep everyone I know with me, because I don't want anyone to say goodbye. Goodbye, it's such a cruel word. All the memories they leave behind and having you miss them because they've been a part of your life before. I'd rather not have those memories, then I probably wouldn't be in so much pain when anyone leaves. Goodbye, it's a simple word that can bring me all the way down. I hate goodbyes, I hate them.

I don't want another repetition, of having to watch you leave.

Today was a sucky day. I was grumpy and tired and whiney! Add them all together=a not nice Charis. HAHA. Slept through a lot of GP, I feel so bad. ): And physics was just zzzzz. And ended up with only a 15 min break for a day of 8am-4pm. -.- Got back Chem quiz, got 10/28, lol. Nothing much to say. Then PW, I swear I hate the contract where it says I can't use the phone during discussions. HAHA. Then math, stoned, everything except pay attention. Chem tutorial, nothing to say except xxxx's an ass! Then ct BORING. 

Okay everything above is not in proper english and it's all just linked all together, so. Yes! Blocks are coming, they're coming. Boo. ): Okay, know what? I don't feel like blogging anymore. 

Sometimes the hurt gets too much, you start building this wall around your heart, so no one can get close enough to hurt you anymore. You stop showing emotion, so no one knows how to hurt you anymore.

I just need, a little time to breathe.

Owen: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't know you were here.

Cristina: No. Wait, wait. I... love... you.

Owen: I, I love you too.

Cristina: No. Just, I love, you. I said, I said I love you! Me. Cristina Yang. What... you traumatized me.

Owen: You know that I am... I'm sorry about that.

Cristina: Damn it. No, not about the choking. It's like you come here, and you pull out my icicle, and you make me love you, and I can't... I don't want to. I can't breathe, without you.

Owen: You can do this Cristina. We can do this. All you have to do is just meet me half way. All you have to do is say yes. All you have to do is say yes.

I miss you.

Of course, I do.

”If she loves you, if she really loves you, you’ll know it. If you can wake up to her staring at you and it’s not even mildly creepy, if you catch her smelling the shoulder of the hooded sweatshirt you lent her for an autumn walk at the beach, and not for B.O., if she makes you a pancake in the shape of a shark, if she calls you drunkenly at four in the morning “to talk,” if she laughs at your jokes when they’re funny and makes fun of you when they’re not, if she keeps her fridge stocked with Guinness tallboys for when you come over, if she tells you how she wishes she were closer to her sister and that her dad makes her sad: She loves you, of course she loves you.”

Sometimes it's hard, because sometimes, I just need to know that I matter.

CSM was so utterly boring. Caught Star Trek with class and some random people. Had yoshi (which quite a few people never ate before, shocking huh) and then caught the show. The show's rather confusing I think. I still don't get the story line, but it's quite cool. I just realized all the tickets are still with me so..... get it from me if you want. (: Bussed back after that, got on and fell asleep almost immediately, all the way back home. (:

Ps, I think Zhong Zheng's the dumbest ass on earth, HAHA.

Sometimes, in this life, we get caught up with our heartaches, with our problems, we forget we aren't alone. Aren't alone in the sense where, we don't have to face things by ourselves, no we don't have to go through things alone. And not alone in another sense where we can't be oblivious to the feelings of others around us. We can be going through the worst of days, but you know, someone else may be going through a shitty day too. It won't hurt to push it away for a while, just a while. And I believe that someday, that someone will be there for you too. When you learn to put others before yourself, you don't lose yourself, no. You find a part of you, which you never will, if all you see is yourself. You find a part, which can bring the brightest smile to your face, even if you're having the worst day. Because when you help someone, when you pull someone out of that hole, seeing his/her smile, that's the biggest reward. And naturally, the pain you feel is forgotten.

Congrats Beehiang for coming in 2nd. (: Well done. <3

When you were sweet & unexplainable.

Past few days have been rather exciting! (I think)

Went for comm serve today after quite long. I kinda miss them. And it's kind of a heart wrenching feeling when the kids don't remember you anymore. ): But nonetheless, it makes me really happy being there with them, to listen to their rubbish (seriously, it's all rubbish, hahaha) and hear them fight and quarrel and bicker, and even they protect me!! Omg! Some small kid pinched me and scratched me and poked my face with pencil, then she stood up and smacked him, omg right!! HAHA, sometimes, it's still kids that bring the most genuine smile to my face, a kind of spark that only lights up in my heart when they're around. They're exams over already, so we just ended up doing puzzles, mazes and all those kind of things. (: I like it when they have fun, when they're happy. Can tell, and you know, it's all the small things. How they never ask for anything much, it amazes me. Comm serve, it's still the most edifying thing in my life right now. (:

Monday after exams rushed home and marathon flowers over boys with BeeHiang! :D I think we always eat a lot when we go out together one, seriously. Even if we don't shop, don't watch movie, don't anything, just walk, we end up spending at least $10 on food. And no, I'm not saying meals, it's just all cause we're greedy. So retarded right! I'm so poor now. I'm left with $2 for the week, I shall go dig out money later, HA. So watched show then she went home.

I took fb quiz just now! Just one, cause it looked so cool, HAHAHA. Which F4 is perfect for me! Guess the result!!!!! HAHAHAH.  Yoon Jihoo!!!! Hahahah, so totally my kind of guy, omg. The always there, always know the right things to say, all the sweet stuff, the regardless if you're his girlfriend or not, he'll always protect you kind of guy. LOL. 

Fell asleep in almost every lesson today, :/ Super tired can, I have no idea why. Came to school, sat on class bench and fell asleep. Went for math, stoned. Physics, bloody 1 hour quiz -.- Physics lecture, SLEEP! Econs tutorial, sleep. LOL. Best right!!!!

When I look at you, I see myself. How we both try so hard to pretend when there's so much inside. You've got to be strong, because I don't wanna see you fall. I see me in you, and I know how hard it is, I just wish something could take away all the pain inside of you, because I don't want to see that smile on your face, and know it's hurting so much inside.

On another side note, I'm really tired. And I swear I've been trying so hard.

Because sometimes there is no easy way out.

Omggggg, I think he's cuter than violin guy now :D HEH! As in, looks. Violin guy's still the nicest. And curly hair guy...... he's the sweetest, but in a violent way, HAHA. But it's nice having someone so protective over you, someone who treasures you so much. (: HAHA, omg watching the show is like living in some fairy tale laaaaaaaa.

Econs is putting me to sleep, like literally making me fall asleep on the table. Best. Oh and you know what, I feel like changing to wordpress again now. SLAP ME -.-

Okay back to studying, sobs.

What is it going to take for this misery to end?

"I'd wish on every shooting star, hang onto every 11:11, save every four leaf clover, do whatever it would take. But I won't do this. I can't. As much as this is going to be the death of me, I cannot do this. I can't let myself get hurt again. So what now? Because I have finally figured out what I should do, what I need to do, and yet the instant I hear your voice, I remember what I want to do. And neither answer is the same, or even remotely related. And I always find myself right back here, confused, used and eagerly anticipating something that will never, ever happen."

Last night, I sat in that corner where I always would when I talk to you on the phone. And in that corner, I listened to you cry, listened to you scream, listened as your heart broke. But while I sat there seemingly quiet on the phone, the tears ran down my cheeks, and I whimpered to myself so you wouldn't hear me, held myself tight cause I felt like my world was crashing down on me. Cleared my throat and told you that everything will be okay, even when I knew things aren't. Most of all, when you cried, and screamed, I sat there alone, with the tears down my cheek, wishing with all my heart, that everything would be okay, and that I could say it and mean it, for once in a really long time.

HAHAHA

On the phone with Favorite and the line got cut off. And then when she called back she said...

Me: What happened!

F: You not ignoring me meh?

Me: No... the line got cut off.

F: Oh you know what I said?

Me: What.

F: I thought you were going to "boo" me, so I just said "I know you're going to boo me", and then I just waited.

HAHAHAHA, so loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. The line got cut off so she was talking to herself. HAHAHAHA, and some more think I'm going to boo her. LOL. Wthhhhhhhhhh~

It's you that makes me who I am.

"When I was younger... How do I put this? I had troubles. I don't think I was actually idealistic then. I think I was absolutely wrapped up in being exactly the person who did this and did not do that. I had rules about everything, and I think my reasoning behind a lot of it was a little bit kooky. I was afraid of somebody stopping to love me, and I was afraid of making a fool of myself in public, and I was afraid of being misunderstood - that was a big one - and I convinced myself that by living a certain way I was somehow protecting myself. But once all those things happen anyway, and they're terrible, and you're not fine for a while, but then you're fine, you actually come to a place where you like your life and it makes you go, "Oh wow, I'm really kind of proud of myself. I have some good stories and I look back and I like what I've done with my life. I like the furniture I've chosen." When that happens, you can play a little bit more and you can be looser and not worry about falling down so much because you know that, whatever happens, you're going to be okay." -Fiona Apple

Whatever happens, you're going to be okay. (:

I realize I don't know how to be angry. When I'm angry I don't know how to show. I get angry and then I scream and then people laugh at me. Wah lao. ): Then make me more angry but then I cannot show it cause then if they laugh again I will cry. HAHA. But I was so mad today!!!! Omg, all those that laughed at me, I wanna smack all of you, how could you!!!!! So now you know when I'm not "hahahah", don't disturb me because I'm angry. Yayyyy! HAHA.

I screwed AA ): But whatever~~ Everything wrong, but at least I was honest, yes yes. HAHA :D I based it on my knowledge which I don't really have but whatever. HAHA. 10% gone but whateverrrr, I've got a conscience! Yay.

Favorite, I miss how things used to be. I miss you. I don't wanna quarrel anymore. Love you. Believe me when I say no one can take your place, you can trust me already. (: I try, you know?

ROARRRRRRRR, I'm on the house phone now, I hope this doesn't get eaten up. I'll be so damn pissed and annoyed. BLOGGER, DON'T YOU DARE ANNOY ME I TELL YOU.

Sometimes you try to forget, you try to push away every memory. But the more you do it, the more it comes back to haunt you, everything reminds you and makes your heart break with every thought. But I guess, I don't ever want to forget, because every memory of you, is what makes me who I am today.

You're afraid in ways I can't comprehend.

"Sometimes situations call for us to act strong and brave even when we don't feel that way. But those are few and far between. More often, the payoff is better if you don't pretend you feel strong when you feel weak or pretend that you are brave when you're scared. I really believe the world might be a safer place if everyone who felt vulnerable wore flashers that said, "I have a problem and I'm doing the best I can.""

Give kindness a chance, let others know you're having a problem and doing the best you can. So instead of rushing you along, and being impatient, they can help you, understand that you're trying and once in a while, give you a little encouragement. Sometimes you need to be strong, but most of the time, you don't. Let others help you, you weren't meant to walk this world alone. 

In a relationship it's never 50-50, someone always loves more.

Love is not about "It's your fault", but "I'm sorry".

Not "Where are you", but "I'm right here for you".

Not "How could you", but "I understand".

Not "I wish you were here", but "I'm thankful you are".

But still, I wish you were here with me.

DAMN DAMN DAMN FUNNY OKAY. WATCH UNTIL LAUGH TILL CRY.

I know I'm damn slow, but this show's freaking funny. OMG. And and and I totally think the last guy's so damn cute omggggggggg. I prefer him to the other guy although the other guy's sweeter. HAHA. Eh the other guy = the perm hair guy. LOL, sorry I'm not good with names. OMG, I think this serial was so totally last season, AND I'M SO TOTALLY SLOW, BUT WHATEVER. Hahahahah, it's damn nice. Omg. I just realized I haven't mentioned the name of this show -.- Flowers over boys (: YES GO WATCH! :D Oh oh, the small boy is damn cute also can?! HAHAHAH. Okay this is so unlike me, but whatever~~~

"Shoes are important to girls. They take us to great places." (:

I'm sick of these feelings.

You know, there are some things which are special to you. Like to some, holding of hands are special, only for a special someone. To others, it may be small little things that are only done for the one and only. And sometimes, when the other does the things special to you for everyone else, it gets a little hard to accept. Because to you, it's something special and you treasure it, and when you see it being done by the special someone for everyone else, it gets a little hard to take.

It gets a little hard to take. 

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you, never excuse yourself.

Doing tutorial 5A, quite sian already so I'm here! :D

My mummy's doing my brother's math work and she's being damn happy whenever she gets a correct answer, LOL. Retarded. Unfair though, she never taught me and left me all to my own once I got to sec one ): Now she's helping my brother when he's sec 3 already. HAHA maybe if she helped me I wouldn't have got that MSG. HAHAHA.

Happy mummy's day everybodyyyy. (:

Okay enough breaks, back to math! (:

I would. (:

Super nice, I like. (:

"Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay - even if her heart sometimes says otherwise." 

When was the last time you were here for me? 

Would you?

I know this is cliche, and most of you probably have seen it for a thousand times, but I still think it's sweet. Really really, sweet.

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for a guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. 

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "That's her".

Here I am, playing with those memories again.

My heart it's not mending.

Reached home at 530 today. Got home, immediately took off my shoes, got onto the sofa, and slept. Slept till 7. Amazing, isn't it. Didn't wake up till I was called for dinner. And now, I'm still sleepy. School tires me tremendously ad mist other things too, and I can't believe it's only week 7. ):

Have been waking up with really bad headaches the past few days, the kind where suddenly I cannot hear anything and the room starts to spin. The cannot hear anything is kinda scary, but haha, whatever. Woke up with a splitting headache this morning, but still had to drag myself to school. Cause at this point in time, I can't imagine myself missing school for even a day, I don't know how far behind I'll be if I do. Every night I think of how I want to skip school the next day, but still finding myself having to drag myself out of bed to school. Dread, that's the word.

And mummy's been nagging me about getting tuition. It's not that I don't want, it's that.... I just really have no time. And she can't seem to understand that. She thinks I'm being stubborn and I'm being really immature, but I can't even finish my tutorials, every week 3 hours of tuition, don't you think I'll just do worse in school and everything? Sigh. I've grown up, I think I know what I need now.

My blog is getting emo again, I abhor that fact. Sigh. 

And yes my love language changed, but it doesn't mean I love you any less. And you holding onto the things I used to do, makes you blind to the things I do now, and it makes me feel pretty much unappreciated. 

Splitting headache, tired, I wanna sleep. But before that, I need to do my Chem tutorial. Sigh. Chemistry, love it man. Sense the sarcasm please. Toodles!

Just loving you has left the world behind.

I wish I knew how love could be so blind.

Okay, I'm calmer now. (: Math can be conquered, yes it can. And anyway, it's all in the mindset, HAHA. So I'm smart, and yes I shall be! I've finished 9 questions for the whole day, not bad la hor, optimism. HAHA. Anyway, thanks for the advices, sorry if I yelled back. :/ Bad mood bad mood, don't mean to okay! (: 

Favorite, get well soon. Xoxo!

"Stress is not what happens to us. It's our response to what happens, and response is something we can choose." - Maureen Killoran.

So many people breaking down, we all need a little love. Luv luv luv luv! Heh. I guess, at the end of the day, be strong. Remember the night is darkest before dawn. (: Be strong, because with every new day there's a new hope. Yesssss, we'll conquer everything, everything we're facing. Because everything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes, typing optimistic things make you feel better too. (: Heh!

Oh ya, congrats HCchoir! Gold with honors! (:

I HATE MATH -.-

Running a freaking fever, so I came home to rest. And then I pulled out math, and it made my temperature go even higher. Omg. -.- I've been at math for FOREVER and I'm still stuck. I hate work I hate work I hate work. I did math till I wanted to pluck off my hair. Did math till I cried. UGH. Helpless, why am I so stupid, tell me why. I don't want to lag in class anymore. I don't want to keep being at the bottom of the class anymore. Why did I even go to HC. I feel so damn stupid, makes me feel like such a loser, makes me feel so damn lousy. Let's see, temperature, 38.6 now. Well done. I have never felt so helpless.

I hate being an option. I hate everythinggggggggggggggggg. UGH.

I am so freaking tired of everything I just wanna scream. Great, now mummy's screaming at me too. BYE.

Will every door that's open, lead me straight to you?

I don't know what I want to blog about, I just need to blog. And I just need to type something before I get to work. I'm so sleepy and my eyes hurt like shit, but I've got tons of tutorials, and lagging behind like shit. And no, I don't wanna "use another year to get my foundation right", sooooo. Yes, work. 

I am so sick of all this shit.

So close, yet so far.

Faculty outing 2009: Odd Ball! :D

I think everyone was quite sian HAHA. But it was fun what I think! If you're damn zi high la. No one did fac dance with me except JinQing! ): But I forgot most of it anyway, spent 3/4 of the time laughing so whatever. HAHA. Oh yeh, went to eat lunch with favorite before going there for ILP. Okay, incoherent, I'm not typing in proper order. HAHA. Sorryyyyy, my brain's not exactly working at this point in time. So! Heh heh heh. Ended up quite high after the whole thing, just me I think. And Favorite was giving me that "are you okay" look. HAHA, smack you. Yishun and I could have wonnnnnnnn, hahahahha. Could have!

Someone was sick but still came, aw (:

Omg, I can't stand the height difference. HAHA.

With random crashers into the photo, no idea who they are LOL.

Aden betrayed his girlfriend. Yishun betrayed Mousheng. TSK.

Then after that rushed to the airport to send Mae-Ann off for Aus! Her friends were crying cause she's migrating. ): Made me think of some stuff, but whatever! :D Ehhhh, I don't think you know the existence of my blog, but take care of yourself over there okay :D Remember me and my pink nails which cracked you up like shit I remember. I'll miss you V V V much! :D 

Was damn hungry so went to eat Macs, then I felt damn sleepy. I was struggling to keep awake while everyone else finished their food. Omg, my Godbrother was the best!? Yesterday I was damn happy he say I emo. Then when he tell me don't emo, he say you can always call me, just depends if I pick up or not. HAHAHA, slap him la. So reached home, dragged myself to bathe and just slept! :D

Waking up sick today, ):

I shall be off the work, I've wasted my day sleepingggggggg! ): BAD.

I really miss you, with every memory, I hold on.

Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just brace yourself and bite your lip. Sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can't sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can't keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

You know, I really miss you and everything you once were before. But this is life isn't it, moving on and accepting because inevitably people change. No it's not a bad thing, and yes I'll accept, but, there comes a point when memories, can't sustain me anymore, and frankly, now all I'm leaning on are those memories. I'm breaking down. You were so, perfect. To me. Now, maybe you're perfect to them, but changed too much for me. When I need you, you need me too. I guess we're both too broken down to be there for each other anymore. When all we need is each other, we're needing the other party too. Stopping us from giving everything because we both need something from the other. I feel jaded, and now with tears down my face, I think I've really given up. I've got no more strength left in me to fight, but yet, I'm still trying. I'm pushing it away again, I hope this time, it's enough for you. Because ultimately, you just mean a lot to me and I know I can't do without you.