Hopefully with every drop of blood and every tear that falls, the pain would get too much to take and I'll eventually learn to forget you.

I just wanna forget you forget you forget you forget you forget you forget you forget you. :(

Ah fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk/

Fuck you.

Tried to find the words, but they don't come out right.

Today's a sucky day. I could just curl up and lie on my bed the whole day. I feel like running away from all of these, but I can't. I can't even be myself around those I love anymore because I need to be strong, I can't cry and I don't wanna cry, or maybe I do. I don't know what I want. I started tearing again when they showed us topics for block test 2. I just finished my blocks 1, and you wanna tell me that everything from J1 to now will be tested for physics? I just started to tear up. Sigh.

I dreamt you left me too, and that was sucha nightmare. I just stood there and just stared as they took you away and then they killed me. Or something like that. And, I was scared.

Sigh. I wish I were stronger, you know? I wish I had the strength to really face up to all of these instead of wanting to run away, instead of just wanting to curl up and cry. Instead of just wanting to sink into someone's arms, for them to hold me up cause sometimes, it really feels like I'm too tired to hold myself up anymore.

I whacked myself so hard last night, my blood vessels kinda burst. I wish they didn't. It's so ugly now.

I wanna be happy. Everyone thinks I'm happy. And, deep inside, if I search deep down inside, I think I wish they knew I wasn't so I wouldn't have to keep this facade up.

The tears always well up in my eyes and they don't fall. I feel. Choked. I just wanna run away from this whole big mess. I see how everything's working out for everyone else and I can't help but ask, why isn't it working out for me too. If everyone else's life is starting to work out, why can't mine. Why'm I still floating, why'm I still hurting. Why can't I let go. Why am I so bad at letting people go, why am I so bad at letting people go. Why.

I just don't wanna be so dispensable in everyone's lives. Is that too much to ask for?

“The one that is meant for us is going to be the hardest to get, the hardest to keep, and the hardest to accept because through all that the love will grow stronger. Love wasn’t made to be easy, otherwise we wouldn’t end up with the right person. We would end up with the first one who comes along. By struggling we single out the wrong ones and realize who really is the one.”

"I hate how dispensable I am to people. I hate how people feel they can just forget about me, replace me, erase me without even a second thought. It’s like I don’t matter to anyone. And hey, I mean, I don’t blame you. I’m no one special. I just thought you were different. I had more faith in you. And you took that, ripped it up, shoved it in my face and walked away without ever looking back."

“Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.”

"It's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you like is going to break your heart."

I know. :(

"Maybe the people who are the hardest to love, are the ones who need it most."

“I think that’s what’s wrong with the world. No one says what they feel, they always hold it inside. They’re sad, but they don’t cry. They’re happy, but they don’t dance or sing. They’re angry, but they don’t scream. Because if they do, they feel ashamed. And that’s the worst feeling in the world. So everyone walks with their heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky is.”

“If there’s just one piece of advice I can give you, it’s this - When there’s something you really want, fight for it, don’t give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you’ve lost hope, ask yourself if 10 years from now, you’re gonna wish you gave it just one more shot.Because the best things in life, they don’t come free.”

“I’m gonna hold you for the last time. I’m gonna cry, but afraid to not let it show. This is the hardest way to say goodbye ‘cause as you walk away I’m feeling so alone. I don’t understand, you had to leave, and and I’m not a part of your plan. We both agreed, but now I regret there are so many thing I should have said.”

"At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know, If you’re willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular."

“Sometimes you’re afraid to become a couple because you’re afraid of losing what you already have with that person. But life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back and wonder what they could have had. No one waits forever.”

“When you’re in the present, you’re living your life. You’re not caught up in what could’ve been or what might be.”