I cried myself to sleep last night. Cried and cried and tried to keep my eyes open to wait for them to stop quarreling so I could go ask mummy if she was okay. I couldn't, and I feel so lousy :( I didn't know what else to do. She finally said it all. And the words were harsh and painful and I could hear her pain and hurt and feelings of betrayal. And through the shoutings and screamings, I probably shouldn't have cried, but I knew of nothing else I could do. I just went up to my room, sat there, and cried. Cried and cried cause it felt like my family was falling apart. Kept hearing the word I never wanted to hear come up and up again. And then, I felt so scared. It's like losing the one thing you thought you never could loose.

I don't know what else to do. I cried this morning too. Prayed. Commited. Sometimes I wish people knew so they'd understand if I suddenly burst out crying, but I'd rather them not know I think. Cause I don't wanna seem unfeeling when I laugh or smile. Sometimes, I think people don't understand how hard it is, but I sitll do cause I really wanna trust.

At points like these, I wish things would be okay. I look at old photographs, and sometimes, I wish I could turn back time. But for now, I'm trusting You.