Cause everyone she trusted, broke her.

The only way I can move on, is if I don't see or talk to you.

--The Hills

While I'm losing my mind, I hope you're home finding sleep.

"I never stopped loving you. Even when I was acting crazy, I loved
you. I tried to show you in a million ways but nothing ever got through."

But now it's time to let you go.

Cast my burdens.

I cast all my cares upon You,
I lay all of my burdens,
Down at Your feet.

And anytime,
I don't know what to do,
I will cast all my cares upon You.

I cast all my cares upon You.
I lay all of my burdens,
Down at Your feet.

And anytime,
I don't know what to do.
I will cast all my cares upon You.

Pick me up Lord, piece this broken heart back together. I need You, so much.

I hope you find someone to love you like I tried but never could.

Hello.

I've been thinking lately. Can you make someone love you by doing all sorts of things to sort of "move her"? So... I don't know. It's just a baffling thought that's been on my mind these few days. Don't you love someone for who he is? So if you don't love him for him, why would you love him for the things he does to so called, "move you"? Bah, I bet most of you don't know what I'm talking about anyway. This thought, makes me feel rather weird.

I am damn lag behind time already. Sucks. And my temper's so short these few days. I miss you quite a bit, there's no one I can talk to like how I could talk to you, but.. I guess. Oh well. I need to study Chemistry. I am still sleepy though I've slept for so long. This is not coherent. I hope the EOM I sent to Mr Quek last night was coherent. By the way, EOM=EMO=MOE. See the link?

BYEBYE.

There is no heart in anything you say to me .

It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say.

Love's just an excuse for getting hurt.

Hello! I read the newspaper today and came across this really good article. Go read it, from lifestyle, Page 9, "Does crying ever solve anything?"

The article writes that some think the way to living a happier life is by having no or low expectations. Or some deal with loss and sadness by devaluing what is lost so its absence becomes less haunting, or analysing the loss at length to delay having to come to terms with it, or memorialise it and subsist on mementoes and memories, or deny the loss and live in the past, or blame everything on everyone around you to lessen the guilt, or find a substitute to help you forget. But the best advice the author would give is this: you can accept the loss and reconcile yourself to its reality. Allow yourself a good cry because it is human and okay to be sad, then pick yourself up and get a move on.

As she says, there's no other way, really, if you want to preserve your own sanity, difnity and well-being.

It's a rare read, and one of the few articles I'd read when looking through the papers. Go read it if you can, it'll teach you quite a lot.

I just wanna move along, move along.

"It's crazy, right?" Trixie interrupted. "To love someone who's hurt you?"

"It's crazier to think that someone who hurt you loves you," Janice replied.

Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?

I really want to post a picture, but I can't cause this stupid comp doesn't let me post pictures on blogger. ):

I'm going to go for dinner soon! I am starving. I'm like constantly hungry now a days. It's scary. I want to go for blood donation. This paragraph has no link, haha!

"I loved somene I never should have, and all she did was rip a big part out of my heart. Gave her so much, and she betrayed it all, and right now, I don't know how to trust anyone anymore. I know not everyone out there would do what she did to me, yet because I gave her so much and loved her so much, and she still betrayed my trust, I just no longer know of how to give of myself anymore. I no longer know how to open my heart up to believe that people are good anymore. Who can I trust? If the one I trusted most, turned her back against me."

Did I make it that easy, to walk right in and out of my life?

"You can never tell what people are thinking and feeling unless they tell you, and usually they lie. you ask them, 'What's wrong?' and they say 'Nothing'. You accept this because it’s easier than digging for the truth. People smile when they want to cry, they laugh when they want to scream and shout. They pretend like nothing is wrong because they don't want to face the truth. Things aren't always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you gotta scream and cry your anger and sadness to the world, because you can only hold it in for so long before something in you snaps. so when you want to cry, cry. When you want to scream, scream. Don't hide behind fake smiles, it's ok to not be alright."

It's okay to not be alright. (:

I think perserverance, makes you into who you are. Who you'll be. You won't definately succeed, but at least you know what it's like, to go on, even when you feel like you can't anymore. And that, in itself, is a lesson well fought for.

If this world was a little less complicated, how nice.

I'm no quitter, don't you know?

1. Listen during lectures
2. Do tutorials before tutorial
3. Do notes
4. Revise at the end of every week
5. Understand old topic before getting into new topic

Yes, I need to get all these right. Buck up, don't give up, Charis.

No words could describe.

Someday I'll understand why I wasn't meant for you.

In the heart of every man

Is a desperate desire for a battle to fight,

An adventure to live,

And a beauty to rescue.

Smile, even though it's breaking.

"The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed. The hard part is realizing that he was lying to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing."

A little something to work for, a little love to get you through.

Sometimes, efforts don't pay off. Sometimes, your best just isn't enough. But then again, your best can always be improved on, and what you think is your limit may not be all you can take. Push yourself, keep pushing yourself. That's what I believe. Someday, I'll get there. I'm not giving up. I never will. Because that's what you taught me.

Sometimes, someone can say something small that can fit into a big empty space in your heart.

Something really cute. (:

Tech Support: Thank you for calling tech support for HOS - that’s Human Operating Systems. How can I be of assistance?

Customer: Well I’ve had this Love Program sitting around for a while and finally decided to install it. But it seems a bit complicated and I don’t want to mess it up. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Absolutely. That’s why I’m here. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: I think so.

Tech Support: Great. Let’s go. The first step is to check for any potentially conflicting programs that might be running in your heart.

Customer: Sounds good. How do I do that?

Tech Support: First hit Ctrl, Alt, Delete all at the same time. Got it?

Customer: Yes.

Tech Support: Great. Now click on the tab that says Heart Applications. Do you see that?

Customer: I do. Got it.

Tech Support: Perfect. What applications are running.

Customer: I see Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, we’ll have to uninstall the Grudge and Resentment programs. They prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and click on the Forgiveness program. You may need to do this several times in order to completely erase Grudge and Resentment from the system. In fact, I recommend that most people run their forgiveness program at least once a day.

Customer: I can see what you mean. It feels like this might take a
while.

Tech Support: I can wait. Take your time…

Customer: Okay, done! And it seems like Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error - Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Go to the Start Menu again and click on the Self-Acceptance program. Got it?

Customer: Yes. It’s running.

Tech Support: Great now go to the modules drop-down menu and check the boxes next to: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Perfect. Now, click on the box that says “Copy new modules to Heart Directory.” And then click on the “OK” button. Once you do that, the system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.

Customer: Done… Hey! I can feel my heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Shareware. And the interesting thing is that the more you share it with others the more stable your personal installation will become. So be sure to pass it along to everyone you meet.

Customer: I’ll definitely do that. Thank you so much.

Tech Support: Thank YOU for installing Love!

Still, you've got this control over me.

Would he give his life up to be all he can?

I wanna blog about something meaningful. But yet, no matter how I crack my head nothing comes out. Can I blog about something close to heart then? Love.

When you love someone, is it logical to be illogical? When you love someone, is it normal to feel like the stupidest person alive for trying so hard for something you know will never turn around? When you love someone, is it the feeling of helplessness and having tears fall down and find comfort in finding yourself still able to feel your heart break? When you love someone, would you still give everything you have left, when everything you had was taken away from you, because you just want to try to bring out that smile on that face? Does love make you this fool, this uncontrollable human with no logical mind of your own? Is this love?

Or is love all it's made out to be. Butterflies and rainbows, fairytales and dreams. Which?

Cleared the dust, wiped her eyes & filed away the memories

Sorry I haven't been blogging much, nothing much to say. But there are some things I have to.

I'm sorry to all those I've walked pass without acknowledging. I'm sorry to all those I've snapped at for no damn reason at all. I'm sorry to all those I've shouted and screamed at because of the slightest reason. I'm sorry to all those I've just shot down so bad. I'm sorry to all those I've vented my anger on. I'm sorry to all those I've given the cold shoulder even when you try to talk to me. I'm sorry.

I wish I could stop being this way, I really wish I could. And I'm sorry, I'm still trying. Right now, there's just too much going on, I don't really wanna say what, so forgive me if I act up. I'm posting this because I don't want my moods to seem to be for no reason at all, for me to just be screaming and shouting and being a stupid bitch for no reason. There are reasons, so please just, understand. I'm sorry, I really am. And everytime I scream or shout or dao, I feel bad but yet, I can't take it back. I'm sorry. Right now, I just need a little time, I'll get my life back on track soon. Just understand, give me a little time, I'm trying really hard to stand back up on my feet again.

Someone said, there are 3 kinds of people in this world. The first type of people never get up after they fall. The second type get up and continue, more cautious. The third type smiles, then gets up and continues running like nothing ever happened.

I'm going to be the third. I'm going to smile, and get up and run like nothing ever happened. But I need a little time, for the bitterness and the pain to subside. And once they have, I promise, I'll run again, like never before.

The bitterness tears me up.

Have you been in love? Horrible isn't it. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that, especially not love. I hate love.

I promise you this, there is nothing I wouldn't give.

"Men are very different from women." She tapped her chest. "In here, they are. You see, in here they're different. Not as strong. Men hurt more when they love. They give themselves more. Women don't. Women always keep a little piee of themselves back just for themselves. Women are more complicated in that way. But men, they aren't. They just love. And you see, they get hurt." .... "Men, they have many fears. You must be very gentle with a man, because if you let him love you too much and then hurt him, he'll never get over it. A woman will. But not a man. He'll be afraid. He will never be able to love as well again, if you hurt him. It gives you power over him. You must remember that."

I just thought that it triggered thoughts in my head. The only thing that triggered things in my head when I read my book. Haven't read much of it, maybe that's why.

I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling.

I'm really sleepy from all the lack of sleep and everything. Grumpy too. ): I wanna sleep but I want to finish my The Incredibles show. It's good, but I prefer Nemo to everything still. Best show ever. Oh yeh, I saw those fishy things that nibble of your feet stuff, it was gross, gross, gross! So many fish at the feet, my goodness. I'm never going for that, ever. No way, ever. Don't even try to make me go for it, I won't ever go for it. Just the thought of it makes me feel so... shivers.

There are so many things in life, that I don't understand. Just don't, understand. And will I ever? I don't know. When love comes and knocks you down, just move on like nothing's wrong, like nothing's wrong.

Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved. Even if it's only for one night.

I need to.

I hope that you're happy, you really deserve it.

I love you sweetheart, always have always will.♥

Be happy now, you deserve it, every bit of it. I love you very much. Always will.

Carry on like nothing's wrong.

Chemistry sucked! ): She's going to get laugh at me again, stupid. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. They're mad to put physics and math together you know!! Craziness. And then they put so big break in between, waste time laaaaaa. Okay my second and third point contradicts, I know. But since they already put on the same day might as well just get it done and over with right!! Sigh.........

Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down

I wanna go to America again! (: Or maybe Australia. Or maybe Europe. HAHA, or Harvard again how about that!! But then again, it's impossible. Look at Chem. ): NEVERMIND, Physics shall not fail me! (: Heh. Okay off to physics, tata.

Happy Birthday Deborah. Despite everything, thank you for all the times you were there for me. (: